I attended the heal for life programme on 10th to 15th May this year.
The main emphasis in the programme is around the inner child. Although this is something I had not experienced before my personal belief is in seeking strategies for recovery “whatever works” is the only rule.
I found however that the beginning of the programme was a bit heavy on the “you do have an inner child and we will help you discover it” side. I think it would be more appropriate to suggest that if you are able to discover a inner child and are able to nurture it then this may help you in your recovery. For example at least two people refused to participate in visualisation sessions and they where left to them own devices and there was no discussion as to why.
Other survivors present said if you try to think of it as your inner self or subconscious then you may find that easier, and I did, as my subconscious is where the corpse of my inner child lies mouldering in its grave.
I did think however there was some confusion with their ideas and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) which might even be a little dangerous if unclear. One person said they believed they had 20 something inner children and also stated they had DID. It was not clear to me where one started and the other finished.
DID is a survival strategy developed by a child during trauma and is a consequence of the abuse, whereas the positive attempt to discover the inner child is done as an adult. It maybe that there is a positive over lap and I am not seeing that yet and as a believer that the old notions around DID that propose “merging alters” are reactionary (who is valid, who is not), I am open to be corrected but I don’t think anyone would suggest that recovery from the problematic aspects of DID would be to create new alters.
I guess this is a can of worms and welcome anyone who wants to tell me where I am wrong.
References where also made to each traumatic event creating a specific inner child at the point of trauma, so in my case, and many others, the possibility of hundreds exist.
I am undecided about this but believe that an attempt to care for and nurture that part of you that was hurt when abused is welcome.
One aspect of the programme I did find new was the attempt to get survivors to face an emotional response. I think very often people are left to “calm down” when they experience a flash back or emotion when that is precisely the time when they need to try to face it, especially anyone with CPTSD. Although this obviously has to be done with caution it showed in my view a commitment to transition in recovery and that the work is hard.
One last comment which is a negative is the role of one of the facilitators. (I have had to make a complaint to Heal for Life and we will see how they respond.) His attempt to bring religion into the work was unwelcome and could be seen as abusive when people are in a vulnerable state. On a personal level this facilitators attempt to justify the idea of a “Gay Cure” was personally insulting and offensive to me and his continued harassment was a hate crime.
I believe that this is probably more about him, but Heal for Life need to caution facilitators not to impose their own personal beliefs which most people find unacceptable on to survivors who attend these events.
I want to send my biggest thanks to the 8 other survivors who went to extraordinary lengths to help and support each other in our week together and I will not easily forget anyone of you. Chris.
There have been some disturbing allegations made about Heal for Life in Australia
http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2013/s3898791.htm
Heal for Life have published the following reply to the Video mentioned above
https://healforlife.com.au/reputable-investigative-journalist-responds-to-7-30-report-on-heal-for-life/
Reputable, investigative journalist responds to 7.30 Report on Heal for Life. Posted February 23, 2014 by Carly Mir 6
As a former guest at Heal for Life, in 2005, and an investigative
journalist (co-worked on stories with 2 Walkley Award
winners), I’m very disappointed in the 7.30 Report’s
‘investigation’ into Heal for Life, which a friend of mine who
has also been a guest at the centre just watched (although it was
aired a couple of months ago). Her comments spurred me to
write:
‘ For people who were not aware of Heal For Life they would
have serious doubts about the integrity of Mayumari and
specifically Liz.
Liz did make a statement in reply that challenged what was said
but I think the program would have caused a great deal of
damage. I always considered the 7.30 report as thorough and
reputable but having experienced Mayumarri directly I am left
with doubts about the rigour of their investigation. I hope
they do pursue an independent investigation to retrieve the
centre and the vital role they play for survivors.’
Reading this comment made me want to add my own.
I have done a lot of healing from my own sexual abuse and HFL
was for me clearly the stand out which had the most significant
and long standing effects. Having written a book about my
abuse, many people have contacted me and I’ve sent at least 40
to HFL. Most found it changed their lives in a dramatic and
powerful way, as I did. I have not had a single bad report about
it.
One of the carers the ABC 7.30 report interviewed was a carer
on my healing week. The only negative thing ever heard about
HFL from people I sent there, was about this person.
He said on your program he had sex with consenting
adults.When the organization discovered this two years ago his
resignation was immediately accepted & he has not been back
there since. These clients he had sex with were going through
deep healing. Common sense tells you consent in this context is
problematic, & certainly totally against all ethics of healing
professionals & the ethics & policies of Heal For Life yet 7.30
Report talked to him as a credible source of information about
Heal For Life..
The Report has done untold damage to an organisation that has
helped thousands of people heal.
Very disappointing.
Barbara Biggshttp://barbarabiggs.com.au/
www.barbarabiggs.com.au/About
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Biggshttp://
www.abc.net.au/gnt/people/Transcripts/s1067715.htm
6 Comments
Kerri Doolan March 4, 2014
My daughter and I both attended HFL…..both for horrific abuse…..HFL is reputable and helped us both to come to terms and move forward in a positive way. I think feeling like you own that this horrible thing happened to you, instead of trying to push it down and ignore it is amazingly therapeutic, or at least it was for me, I am not really a person who demonstrates very well, I tend to hide how I feel inside, but I went and used that punching bag early one morning until I had no skin left on my knuckles…..and I can now acknowledge the little girl inside that never had a voice or a chance to play like kids should….what are the alternatives to trying to heal? I have found none in my lifetime so far….I still feel inadequate, and I am not as outspoken as I should be…..but with their help I learned to accept myself and that this horrible upbringing and what happened to me WAS NOT IN ANY WAY MY FAULT….kids blame themselves…so nearly 50 years on, from when the worst of it happened for the first time, I am proud of the person I am despite what was taken from me and HFL was a big part of this process….Kerri
Kerri Doolan March 4, 2014
I should have added it was NOT HFL fault that I took the skin off my knuckles on the punching bag, before someone complains. It is all supervised, it was my responsibility entirely…..I went out of a time that was supervised and I didn’t see the gloves……I was reprimanded for doing this and it wasn’t their fault in any way shape or form….. Kerri
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Jude March 4, 2014
Exactly. I complained to Media Watch about this. They seemed to be very focussed on the satan stuff, and only mentioned the good the centre does in passing.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Denis Young March 4, 2014
I searched for 55 years looking for help, found some, but then Heal Four Life. I had to leave early my first time there due to a nephew committing suicide, I felt really GUTTED by this event, however I was able to handle it thanks to the few days I had spent there. I have since attended 2 other healing weeks there and can assure anyone in need that I AM NOW LIKING ME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.I once had the utmost respect and looked up to the person that admitted having sex with clients, not after he did that. WHAT IS THE DIFFERRENCE between he and a priest abusing his flock?, ANSWER, NOTHING, he had the power, they were venerable and he took advantage of that fact, nothing too admire there.Liz and Rod are the parents I should have had. Pam, June and co are the sister’s I should have had and no one can or will ever change that, Heal For Life is my SAFE place, I will do all I can to help them, as I owe them so much for getting rid of nearly 55 years of garbage I have been carrying around, turning me around and helping to become the person I am todayI thank Heal For life and look forward to helping them in any way I can for many, many years to come
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Joanne Smith March 4, 2014
I used to believe the ABC & the 7.30 Report were reputiable in their investigative journalism! Not anymore!
That the ABC is able to destroy an organisations reputation with no true investigation is deplorable and shows their journalism to be extremely bias! Why did you not investigate the other side of this story? But guess what ABC, your bad intent towards HFL has made our community so much stronger, closer & more determined then ever to succeed in our goals. Helping people to Heal from Childhood Abuse & Trauma! Our TRUTH will shine through all the bullshit you aired to the nation.
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Ravi Holy March 4, 2014
Thanks, Barbara. I am one of the carers at the recently launched Heal For Life UK and although the report was about HFL Australia (and Mayumarri in particular) its still likely to alarm people here in the UK and potentially stop people getting the life-saving help they so desperately need. I will happily refer anyone who needs reassurance to this excellent piece. Thanks again.
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June 2, 2015 Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I found the ABC report salacious and in part offensive especially when they suggest that survivors should not be involved in supporting the recovery of other survivors, it is my belief the opposite is true. However having read the piece above and the comments I am still left with grave fears about Heal for Life. I attended a course here in the UK this year and was disturbed by the introduction of religion in some of the therapeutic sessions. Religion has no place in therapy and is abusive to vulnerable people. If this individual or the organisation received public funding or was regulated, he would be sacked and the organisation could be closed. Also the same individual was defending the idea of the “gay cure” which is disgusting and Heal for Life need to deal with this. Secondly the pressure applied to people attending the event was too great regarding the inner child work, there needs to be a more gentle approach as very damaged people can unintentionally be harmed by pressure. On returning home from the event many of the guests established contact and one discovered the ABC report and shared it. I was personally disturbed by the idea children attended courses in Australia, if people can get this wrong they can easily get other stuff wrong as this is very basic. HANDS OFF CHILDREN. Only specially trained professional people have a role in children’s recovery and this needs to be overseen and regulated. Lastly the fall out between guests after viewing the report has flagged up greater warnings with at least one individual from Heal for Life using cult like personal tactics turning people against each other, people who are damaged and vulnerable, who deserve and demand an honest and open assessment of the best road for our recovery. Finally the comment by Jude “They seemed to be very focussed on the satan stuff, and only mentioned the good the centre does in passing.” Erm well yes Jude that would be important. And Dennis “Liz and Rod are the parents I should have had.” No Dennis what they should be is professional.
Chris